Insights from the first Seven Days
The book 90 Days of Heat is an adventure recounting the 90 straight days of Moksha Hot Yoga David Matthew Brown went through to find inner peace after his divorce. David shares with you 90 days of thoughts, inspirations, and his personal journey to peace through hot yoga. Here are selected insights from the first 7 days.
During my practice today a phrase kept creeping in, “God is closer than your breath,” and what occurred to me was that the breath is who I am, or “breath I am.” A couple of times I caught my self-reflecting from the vantage point of the breath; breath means spiritus in Latin, it is where we get the word inspiration, or in breath. As we breathe in life, and let it go, the inhale is “let” and the exhale is “go.” The breath naturally moves with the flow of life without holding on. So by contemplating my breath in the practice, I was able to live in the body, and allow.
Joe our teacher mentioned freedom several times and our choice in it. I like that. I like that I have a choice in freedom, and that I can wrestle with myself on my mat in safety. Well on to day two…
Everyday offers me new challenges, and today the challenge on my mat was breathing through my comfort zone and going into those places that were screaming. My comfort zone stops where the loud noises are. Meaning I prefer not go deeper. As I continued to breathe into and with and through those places I had a wonderful insight, “You‘re safe, nothing is going to hurt you here. You‘re on your mat,” and I allowed myself to go inside, go inside to the sticky parts of me. Why not? We only live once so I might as well enjoy the opportunities as they arise.
The breath for me is the connector between heaven and earth. It is about the whole being, incorporating the whole being into your practice. Sometimes yoga is looked at as just about the body, and the heaven aspect is left out. We need both heaven and earth in our practice to balance ourselves, especially in our lives filled with so many earthly things. Without heaven we become unbalanced in the world. Our breath, as Joe the teacher mentioned, is the “equalizer in our practice” and the bridge.
Every pose in my practice is a discovery, with the breath guiding me to discover and accept each one as it is today. Christians have this same practice but they use the Our Father to practice with, reminding them that life is happening here and it is to be discovered as it is.
So today I used this idea to discover the intimate nature of the pose – allowing the breath to fully engage them. How quickly pride gets in and knocks you over. I found pride coming in and then I was knocked down. When the breath is fully engaged, I feel humbled in the pose, and the pose is discovered as it is.pride gets in and knocks you over. I found pride coming in and then I was knocked down. When the breath is fully engaged, I feel humbled in the pose, and the pose is discovered as it is.
Everything in my practice is calling me inward on my mat, every pose is inviting me to just be ordinary and release the need to be extraordinary. In a world where everyone is thriving to be extraordinary all the time, for an hour I can be ordinary. Yes there are moments in life and in the practice where we are called to be extraordinary, but those moments are few and far between. How exhausting to be extraordinary all the time. Constantly in a state of doing, needing approval, and proving to people all day long, that they are enough. I have discovered my moments come when I have the opportunity to speak in front of a group, but when I am done speaking, well, I go back to the ordinary. There is a famous Zen line, “Do laundry, carry wood, after enlightenment do laundry, carry wood.” Ordinariness is an invitation to be okay now. We all would like to be just okay.
Within my practice I am invited to leave my stories behind, leave yesterday, not to worry about tomorrow, and rest here. When that happens, it happens from sincerity. Faith is the only thing I know that defeats fear, and faith is found here in the breath. Beliefs are mind trappings, and faith is found outside the mind. Faith is not concerned with rationale, stories, or who did what; it is solely a place of devoting the heart to the gift of the present, then allowing the present to unwrap itself as it is, thus honouring unfolds. Faith knows nothing of proving (approval); it is simply is deep trust in the Divine now. This Divine is acknowledged in me honoring you, but I can’t honor you fully unless I honor and accept my gift, which lies here. The gift of who I am is discovered moment-to-moment, breath-by-breath, and pose-by-pose.
Today we focused on allowing the breath to fill the space in our bodies, directing the breath, and feeling it fill us up. I decided to add a challenge to my practice and really become a Jedi, yes a Star Wars reference. During some of the practice I closed my eyes, and found something very interesting: I seemed to trust my eyes, ears, and touch, more than my breath. Once I closed my eyes, I was wobbling, a little off, and had to sense alignment. Normally I can see it, or am guided to see it, go to it, but with my eyes closed, well everything changed. First, any story I was telling myself went out the window, because when you close your eyes you have no time to trust the mind; it is useless, and you realize how much of your mind relies on the senses for its information.
David Matthew Brown is an internationally sought-after speaker on Universal Principle, Sound, Energy, and Shamanic Work. He is also an author, teacher, Metaphysician trained at AGAPE International Spiritual Center, and former radio host of INSIDE OUT where he dialogued with over 362 guests, including: Swami Kriyananda, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Don Miguel Ruiz, Marianne Williamson, Byron Katie, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Cynthia James, and Matthew Fox.
90 Days of Heat – Freedom Through Moksha is published by O Books 27th March 2015. ISBN: 978-1-78279-785-2 (Paperback) £11.99 $19.95, EISBN: 978-1-78279-784-5 (eBook) £6.99 $9.99