The Making Love Retreat is a life and love changing 7-day workshop for couples created over 20-years ago by Diana Richardson (author of six books, including Tantric Orgasm for Women and Tantric Sex for Men). British couple, Jayne Blackman and Tim Broughton are licensed teachers of this powerful work. They say a change in their way of making love has transformed not only their sex life, but also their whole relationship, and they want to share these possibilities with other couples.
What is the essence of the Making Love style? “It’s a sort of everyday practical tantra, the basic premise is to ‘cool’ down and relax into making love rather than focusing on arousal and the ‘hot’ sex that we’re used to,” says Tim. “The aim is to connect more deeply and in a way that is loving and nurturing. It is about letting go of expectations and ‘doing’ in sex and discovering how to be more present together. I found the move away from excitement and intensity challenging but ultimately so rewarding for our relationship and for me personally.”
Diana Richardson – who credits Osho and Barry Long as her sources of inspiration – explains that the difference between her approach and most other tantric practices is that the focus is on the sexual act itself. “The central understanding is that male and female bodies are designed in a complimentary way by nature – as equal forces yet opposite forces. This energetic reality has a great influence on readiness for sex. Male sexual energy is raised very quickly while female sexual energy is raised much more slowly, and via the breasts, not the genitals. This was a revelation to me,” says Jayne. “Usually in lovemaking, men are ready for penetration much sooner than women and this can lead to difficulties. It gives the impression that women don’t like sex, or are blocked or frigid, but this is not true. Discovering my breasts as the doorway to raising my sexual energy changed so much for me. Now I initiate making love much more often.”
What can couples expect on the weeklong retreat? “The venue is a gorgeous place with delicious food so there’s an aspect of a relaxing intimate holiday about it” says Jayne. “The week is designed to bring participants into their bodies and the present moment. Each day there is a talk about sex, gentle exercise, dance, and active meditations and time devoted to personal practice in the privacy of bedrooms to apply all you are learning”
According to Jayne and Tim – young couples, retired couples, couples who simply would like more from making love, couples in crisis would all gain so much from this experience. “There might be couples in long relationships who have perhaps brought up children and got out of the habit of making love”, says Tim. “Then there are couples in conflict, maybe one wants to avoid sex, whilst the other is desperate to make love. The Making Love Retreat offers support with these kinds of dynamics. I found our love being strengthened and as our lovemaking experiences expanded, our hearts opened more widely to each other. For me, this workshop provides the missing link in making love.”
How did Jayne and Tim feel at the end of their first Making Love Retreat with Diana and her partner Michael Richardson? “I remember feeling we’d discovered a hidden treasure”, says Jayne. “We felt so much more connected than before we went. It was really profound, I felt as though I’d come home”.
And where are they now with it? “Totally committed,” says Tim, “because we feel there is so much more to explore. We’re discovering a subtle new depth of orgasmic awakening. Conventional sex is all about stimulation and a few seconds event of orgasm. This approach gradually opens us up to an orgasmic state of being that can last for hours and is nurturing and profoundly intimate.”
“It was also a tremendous help to learn how to distinguish between triggered emotions that have their root in the past and natural feelings that arise in the present. The general lack of clarity about the emotional state in our society leads to many difficulties in sustaining love relationships.”
Jayne and Tim believe passionately that if we all learnt to make love in a more informed and conscious way, the world would be a very different place – one that is much more peaceful, joyful and loving.
Key elements of the Making Love Retreat:
1) Receiving a new and uplifting sexual orientation that removes the performance pressures and focus on goals and outcomes.
2) Discovering that through being more present during sex there is a natural slowing down that increases sensitivity.
3) Understanding the value of man supporting a woman’s sexual opening to enable her to receive him more fully. Finding out how this shift naturally elevates the sexual experience – for woman and for man too!
4) Experiencing that an erection is not essential for sex because soft entry is a viable alternative.
5) Allowing vulnerability and genuine feelings enables the intimacy to deepen and the love to grow.
6) Recognising when old emotions are triggered is essential to preserving harmony and love.
7) Healing of old traumas and wounds in sex is possible through a more loving conscious style of sex.
8) Discovering that sex needs to be made a priority in daily life and that there are untold benefits from regular practice.
9) Receiving guidance on how to maintain regular practice during daily life.
10) The retreat is led in a very respectful and professional way that ensures privacy for each couple. There is no nudity or personal exposure of any kind.
Jayne Blackman and Tim Broughton’s next Making Love Retreat is Sept 29th to Oct 6th at the Mill Retreat Centre in Normandy, France. There is also a series of free introductory talks.
Article written by Rose Rouse
Rose has been a journalist for over 25 years. She’s wrote two books ‘Missing’ and ‘Last Letters To Loved Ones’, and has recently published ‘A London Safari – walking adventures in NW10’ (Amberley Books) with an impressive intro by Louis Theroux, one of the people she walked with.