Head: your logical mind. This is the part of you that plans and decides what kind of life you want and what sort of relationship you want.
Heart: your emotions. This is the part of you that falls in love, feels jealous, longs for the cosiness of cuddles, and smiles at the quirky habits of your loved one.
Hips: Your sexual energy. This is the most raw and mercurial aspect of your humanity. Its the bit that makes your special relationship special (and really challenging).
When these three aspects of yourself are in yoga (union) with each other your relationship will be harmonious. As we all know, when they are not united we experience anything from mild confusion to total disarray.
I love my formal yoga practice – its Kriya Yoga. But I’ve always been more intrigued by the experience of yoga off the mat.
The ultimte definition of ‘yoga’ is Patanjali’s statement in the Yoga Sutras:
‘Yogah chitta-vrttih niroddhah’
‘When your internal flux halts completely – that’s yoga!’ (my translation)
To me the formal practice of yoga on the mat is preparation for yoga in life. The skillful yogi takes their ability to halt their internal flux – the disruptive chatter of the mind and the fickle flicker of attention from one thing to the next – and applies it in every day life.
Romantic relationship is the area of life that offers us the most challenging but the most rewarding opportunity to do this. That’s because everything is heightened in relationship – emotions, sensations, the meaning we give to things, our desires and dissapointments.
Relationship is the biggest and best opportunity to take yoga off the mat. Learning how to bring your head, heart and hips into harmony with each other gives you the skill to create harmonious relationship.
One of the things we’ll work on in the workshop is the difference between relationship (Head) and romance (Heart). Confusing these two is one of the biggest mistakes that people make. Most don’t realise that they are doing it as it can be very subtle, and often the confusion happens at a subconscious level. Learning how to recognise the difference is one of the best relationship skills you’ll ever learn. It brings clarity and power to your ability to be a lover.
We’ll also learn my 5 Keys to Cultivating Romance
Here are 3 to whet your appetite:
1. Always prepare for romance. Romance is like a guest – it needs to be invited in. Don’t make the mistake of expecting it to ‘just happen’ when the chemistry is right. We’ll discuss simple ways in which you can prepare for romance in your daily life.
2. Clear relationship nurtures romance. Whatever stage you are at – dating, single, or in long term relationship – clarity of boundaries, clarity of communication and clarity of purpose all help romance to flourish.
This is my favourite key. It makes me smile and sigh at the same time. Come and let me teach you how to enjoy the gentle ache of being apart from each other. The emotional and sexual power of the space between is perhaps the most underused aspect of romantic relationship. When that space is squashed, it leads to dysfunctional relationship. When it is nurtured, it becomes rocket fuel for your relationship.
We’ll discover the secret of breath and how to take your pranayama practice into your relationship to create better communication and better sex.
I’ll show you how to use shavasana (corpse pose) to create the perfect date. Yes, really!
What to expect:
In this workshop we’ll be discussing the most vulnerable and intimate aspect of human life. To help you prepare, here’s how the workshop will run:
- You’ll be listening a lot – like you’re at a talk or lecture.
- You’ll have time to reflect, think and make notes.
- You’ll be free to listen silently and privately without interacting with others.
- If you want to ask questions, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to do so.
- You can do this anonymously by writing your question on a slip of paper in the question basket.
- You won’t be asked to discuss things with other participants if you don’t want to.
Join Vena at the British Yoga Festival on Friday 5th of December from 4.30 – 6pm for her workshop ‘Head, Heart and Hips: The Yoga of Relationships. Buy tickets.
Vena Ramphal is ‘the doyenne of erotic counselling’ ~ British GQ.
‘Our favourite relationship philosopher’ ~ Mind Body Spirit Wellbeing Festival.Vena was introduced to yogic philosophy at the age of 5 through reciting passages from the Upanishads. She started meditating at aged 10. She works with the classical Sanskrit traditions of yoga, kama sutra and dance.
Her own yoga practice is Kriya Yoga in the lineage of Yogananda (Autobiography of a Yogi) and Hariharananda. She coaches and mentors people to create fulfilling love lives and sex lives by mastering themselves. Her coaching practice is based at the Hale Clinic – Europe’s leading centre for holistic wellbeing.
[tw-button size=”medium” background=”” color=”red” target=”_blank” link=”http://www.eventbrite.com/e/british-yoga-festival-tickets-11956192293?aff=BYFWBSITE/”]£13 – BUY YOUR TICKET NOW![/tw-button]
About the editor
Passionate about wellness, yoga, meditation, and raw food – Cheryl Slater heads up the social media team for Yoga Magazine and her business Soul Seed Media specialises in providing social media and PR support to holistic businesses.