Words: Susanna Barkataki
Only when we pierce through this magic veil do we see the One who appears as many. —SHVETASHVATARA UPANISHAD
EACH TIME you step on your mat to practice asana; each time you sit on a cushion and breathe, do pranayama, or meditate; each time you open a sacred text or show up to serve in love, you are crossing a threshold to a deeper spiritual commitment. Each time you cross one of these thresholds, you make the choice to step into your power and bring the spiritual aspects of yoga that are within you forward in a deeper way. You embrace the practice in its root intentions before systems of oppression and domination twisted and shaped it.
Crossing such a threshold involves leaving behind many supportive constructs that you may have outgrown. Your thresholds (and there are many!) may be crossed not once but thousands of times. Each time, you must leave the comfortable confines of familiar structures and embark on a journey into the unknown, leaving behind the belief that you have to be perfector seen as worthy in some way in order to turn toward practice. You are already worthy. Always. It can take remembering that yoga is a mindset, a way of being in the world that you can touch into at any moment. It can be letting go of people-pleasing, putting others’ needs before your own. It can be practicing self-forgiveness and self compassion. Maybe you haven’t made it to your mat or cushion in a day, a week, a month, a year.
Maybe you weren’t the kindest or most present parent, friend, partner this week . . . and yet today you show up. It doesn’t matter how many steps or decisions you’ve made that pull you away from center or from your highest intentions; it just takes one decision to come back.
I see students cross a threshold into a deeper spiritual commitment when they sign up for teacher training or a workshop.
They often come in with doubts. They wonder if they are worthy or capable, or if the path will work for them. Despite these very human questions, they take the leap and decide to try. The wish to expand, to grow, to learn, to say yes to who they are becoming are all reasons they give for taking this leap. Often crossing the threshold can be simply a matter of choice—a choice to step into one’s own power, the power of a container of learning, and a commitment to oneself to embrace yoga as a way of life and service.
There are questions to ponder and new experiences to unpack at the threshold. What are you leaving behind? What are you taking with you? As you say farewellto the person you were and open up to growth and change, you may experience grief.
That’s normal; take all the time you need to acknowledge and feel it, to mourn what you’ve left so that you can create room to embrace what’s next. As sadhakas, we must leave behind anything that gets in the way of our commitment to spiritual growth. This can mean making a monumental decision,such as leavinga toxic relationship, moving to a new country, or changing jobs. It can also be little momentsof releasing one thing and welcoming or reconnecting with something else. For example, choosing to replace an evening Netflix session with meditation, journaling, self-care, or a conversation with a spiritual friend can be a welcome shift.You get to determine the shifts that will support you in crossing your threshold to deeper spiritual connection.
It took me many years to cross the threshold and turn toward yoga as a way of life. I ran from it for a long time, afraid of the judgments of my peers and family. I needed to decolonize my thinking about yoga as something I was unworthy of, having internalized the judgmental and normative messages of yoga in the West. I needed to decolonize my understanding and return to the original truth of yoga, as shared in yoga philosophy as inclusive and available for everyone. And then finally I made a grand gesture as a way of saying yes to this path: I bought a one-way ticket to India and told myself I wouldn’t come back until what I went there for was complete! It was my sankalpa—a promise I made to myself to say yes to my heritage, to listen to the call of my ancestors, and to feel the true meaning of yoga in my bones and heart. As I arrived, I remember breathing deep, knowing that I was home.
Grand gestures can be one way to cross the threshold. But they are not necessary. I cross the threshold every morning when I sit down on my cushion instead of scrolling, each time I offer a compassionate word to myself or a friend, or each time I take a mindful pause to breathe. As my student Leigh Green says, “I remind myself that the only thing yoga requires me to do is breathe. And once I connect my breath and intention with my body, everything else— the shame and overthinking—falls to the wayside. Then I can freely access the joy that I’d been unintentionally withholding from myself for decades.”
CROSSING THE THRESHOLD PRACTICE
- Lay down a stick, string, or even a yoga mat to delineate a “threshold” that, once crossed, solidifies your commitment to practice. Stand on one side of the threshold. Take some time there to reflect on who you are on this side of the threshold. What has brought you here? What do you need to leave behind in order to cross to the other side? Really take your time with this. It may come out as a dance, a cry, movement, journaling, a scream, or a fart. Let it all out.
- Then, when you feel ready— and only you will know when that is—step, leap, dance, or tumble across to the other side of your threshold. Take some deep breaths here. Who are you becoming at this moment? What is here for you in this new way of being and this new place in your life?
