The Science of Self-Compassion
Words: Sandra Roycroft-Davis
When it comes to weight loss, many of us are our own worst critics. We berate ourselves for our slip-ups, compare our progress to others and often hold ourselves to impossible standards. However, for lasting weight loss, it’s vital that we harness the power of self love. Self-compassion is not just a feel good concept – it is vital for boosting self-esteem and involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would off er to a friend. It means recognising that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks, and it involves being patient and gentle with yourself during these times.
Reducing Stress
Self-compassion has been shown to have profound effects on both mental and physical health, and I witness this happening every single day. One of the key reasons it is so powerful is that it helps to reduce stress. When you are kinder to yourself, you lower your levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. High levels of cortisol are linked to weight gain, particularly around the abdomen, because the body holds on to fat as a defence mechanism during times of stress.
A study by Dr Kristin Neff , a leading researcher in the field of self compassion, found that individuals who practised self-compassion had lower levels of cortisol and higher levels of heart rate variability, which is a measure of how well the body can manage stress.
A less restrictive approach
Self-compassion also encourages a more balanced and less restrictive approach to eating. Dieting often involves strict rules, which can lead to a cycle of deprivation and bingeing. By contrast, being kind to yourself allows you to make healthier food choices without the associated guilt and shame when you occasionally indulge. Research has shown that mindful ness based interventions, which include components of self-compassion, can significantly reduce binge eating and emotional eating.
Here’s another plus: self-compassion fosters resilience. When you treat yourself kindly, you are more likely to pick yourself up after a setback and continue striving towards your goals. T his resilience is crucial for long-term weight loss, as the journey is rarely a smooth one.
I was fascinated by research which found that people who practised self-compassion were more likely to persevere after experiencing failure and were less likely to engage in negative self-talk.
Healthier body image
Another benefit of self-compassion is that it promotes a healthier body image. Many people struggling with weight issues have a negative perception of their bodies, which can lead to a host of psychological issues, including depression and anxiety. By practising self-compassion, you can improve your body image and overall mental health. Research has shown that treating yourself more kindly can lead to significant improvements in body image and reductions in body shame.
It can also enhance motivation and self-discipline. While it might seem counter-intuitive, being kind to yourself can actually help you stick to your goals more effectively than being self-critical. When you approach your weight-loss journey with self compassion, you are more likely to set realistic goals and create sustainable habits.
Healthy behaviours
One study found that self compassionate people were more likely to engage in healthy behaviours, such as regular exercise and balanced eating, because they were motivated by a desire to care for themselves rather than a fear of failure. One final thing: being nice to yourself can also help you build a supportive internal dialogue. Instead of the inner critic, who constantly undermines your efforts, you develop an inner coach who encourages and uplifts you. This positive internal dialogue is essential for maintaining motivation and self-esteem throughout your weight-loss journey.
It’s important to note that self-compassion is not about letting yourself off the hook or avoiding responsibility. Rather, it involves acknowledging your imperfections and commit ting to self-improvement in a kind and understanding way. It’s about finding a balance between accepting yourself as you are and striving to be the best version of yourself.
Mindful self-talk
So how can you start practising this today? One simple way is to become more mindful of your self-talk.
Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself, especially during challenging times. If you notice negative or critical thoughts, try to reframe them in a more compassionate way. For example, instead of saying, ‘I can’t believe I messed up again’, try saying, ‘It’s okay to make mistakes. I’m learning and growing every day.’
Another effective technique is to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend. When you’re feeling down or frustrated, imagine what you would say to a loved one in the same situation, and then say those words to yourself.
Gratitude
Being grateful for what you’ve got, instead of moaning about what you haven’t got, can also help you Being grateful for what you’ve got, instead of moaning about what you haven’t got, can also help you to cultivate a more compassionate mindset. Take time each day to reflect on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life. Maybe even text yourself a special note of something really special now and again. This can help shift your focus away from your perceived flaws and towards your strengths and achievements.
Self-care
Engaging in self-care activities is also important. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether that’s taking a walk in nature, reading a good book or spending time with loved ones. By taking care of your mental and physical well-being, you reinforce the message to yourself that you are worthy of love and care.
Finally, remember that this is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Be patient with yourself and recognise that it’s okay to have setbacks. The important thing is to keep trying and to treat yourself with kindness and understanding along the way.
The science is clear: self-compassion is not just a feel-good concept, but a vital component of successful weight loss. So go ahead and give yourself the love and compassion you deserve – your mind and body will thank you for it.
How you can take back control
- Mind your self-talk Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, especially in challenging times. Replace negative thoughts with compassionate and encouraging ones.
- Treat yourself like a friend When you’re feeling down, imagine what you would say to a loved one in the same situation and say those words to yourself.
- Practise gratitude Reflect on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life each day. This can help shift your focus from flaws to strengths.
- Engage in self-care Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, reinforcing the message that you are worthy of love and care. Because you are!
