HOW MINDFULNESS AND COMPASSION CAN TRANSFORM OUR PRACTICE
Words: Anna Taylor
How do you ‘meet’ yourself when you step on the yoga mat?
Does your practice feel like a safe space where you can bring, welcome and tend to the varying parts of yourself (e.g. those that feels pleasing, difficult and neutral)?
Or it is yet another platform where you feel the need to achieve, perform or create an improved version of yourself?
In cultures where we are often feel led and fed by the need to be ‘doing’ and ‘striving’, where ‘success’ is frequently gauged by qualitative, external ‘results’, it can be easy for these messages to unconsciously slip into how we meet ourselves on the mat.
Bringing mindfulness and compassion into the heart of our practice can help to reframe it. Rather than being motivated by a sense of self improvement, our practice becomes a safe space for exploration, care and connection.
We might consider the question posed by the Sufi poet Rumi,
‘Do you pay regular visits to yourself?’.
For me, this is the essence of our yoga practice, offering precious time and space to meet ourselves; time to set aside the many roles and demands life places on us, and open to what is right here and now in our inner and outer worlds. An equally interesting question might be,
“When you do, what kind of visitor are you?”
Are you a friendly one that is supportive and encouraging or one that is harsh and critical, forever pointing out your weaknesses? When preparing to pay a visit to ourselves, are we laying down a welcome mat or getting out a score card?
Why mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a quality of presence in which we open to our present moment experience with a caring, non judgemental awareness. We can direct it outwardly – opening our senses to the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures as we interact with others and the wider world. We can direct it inwardly, tuning into the sensations in our bodies, the thoughts and feelings moving through our minds and hearts.
Rather than immediately leaping into modes of analysing, fixing and changing our experience (as we so often do), mindfulness creates the space to step back and gently explore it, meeting it with qualities of patience, acceptance, care and curiosity. Doing so enables us to see and respond to our lives (both on and off the mat) with greater clarity, calmness and kindness.
Why Compassion?
As we meet life with greater awareness, we open not only to that which is joyful and pleasing (e.g. the feeling of ease when tension releases), and that which is neutral (e.g. our breath which often falls beneath our awareness) but also that which is painful and challenging (e.g. feelings of sadness or physical tension).
As much as we might wish it otherwise, pain is a natural part of being human (whether physically, mentally, or emotionally). While marketing machines might make us feel that if we had, did, or achieved ‘enough’ we could banish it, the truth is that peace is found when we skilfully navigate it.
While yoga can draw us closer towards our inherent lightness, the path involves gently opening to our darkness, the parts of ourselves that we might hide from – our tight corners and uncomfortable feelings. Our lightness comes from seeing and reducing that which blocks it rather than bypassing shadows that inevitably cross it.
It is here in life’s difficult moments that mindfulness links with compassion. Mindfulness enables us to notice when pain is present (whether our own or another’s).
It reminds us to remain open and curious towards it (rather than becoming overwhelmed by or ignoring it). It helps us to clearly see the causes and conditions contributing to it. Compassion offers a way of skillfully responding to pain, in such a way that we lessen or alleviate it.
Why Self-Compassion?
Compassion can be extended outwardly towards others and inwardly towards ourselves, however, many of us find it easier to do the former, and struggle with the latter.
When a friend or loved one is in pain or difficulty, the tone of our response often serves to calm and soothe them, offering a sense of perspective, allowing them to feel held by caring connection.
When it comes to ourselves however, our response often differs. We might interpret our pain as a sign of inadequacy or failing and respond to it more harshly, adding layers of judgment, blame or shame which only feeds our stress and suffering.
In practicing self-compassion we learn to hold space for ourselves as we would a dear friend, holding our experience in a balanced perspective, offering ourselves care and tenderness, learning to soothe and steady ourselves while in the midst of difficulty. Doing so can help us to live, move and grow through life’s challenges rather than feeling so defined or destabilised by them.
Mindful Compassionate Yoga
Mindfulness lies at the heart of our
yoga practice. Inherent within our
practice is gently exploring, inquiring
and reflecting on the nature of our
experience (svadhyaya in Sanskrit), deepening our understanding of ourselves, our true nature and our place in the wider world. Our practice on the mat, offers space for reconnection, to notice what lies beneath the surface of our daily ‘doing’, space where the disparate parts of ourselves can be seen, felt, and held.
Being human is not a state of perfection, but often complex and sometimes messy. Our practice is a place to meet ourselves not to escape or supersede our reality. It offers space to acknowledge and cultivate our strengths as well as meet our vulnerabilities; to gently progress rather than push for perfection. As we soften the expectations and demands that we so often place on ourselves we learn to open our hearts to however we are (rather than waiting until we become a ‘better’ version of ourselves). While mindfulness enables us to notice how and where we have fallen out of balance, compassion reminds us how very human this is. Rather than getting lost in layers of self-criticism we can access practices that guide us gently back towards it.
In a world that moves at speed, slowing down our pace in our practice allows us to dial up our awareness.
Rather than rushing through life, we remember to open to it. Slowness guides us towards stillness, space to be and rest. As nervous systems balance, bodies soften, hearts open, and mental chatter quietens, we rest in awareness, observing the life that moves through us without feeling so entangled in it. Towards the end of practice we often feel more whole, less scattered, and in touch with a more authentic version of ourselves that is less identified with the roles that life demands of us. It is here in this quieter space that our intuition can be heard more easily. In offering space to listen and respond to the insights that arise we are steered towards a path that feels more aligned with our heart.
Suggestions for weaving mindfulness and compassion into our practice
a) Meeting yourself where you are
❦ At the start of your practice take a moment to observe how you are feeling (the sensations in your body, the flow of your breath, the tone and texture of your mind and heart).
❦ Imagine meeting yourself with soft eyes and a kind heart, as if meeting a dear friend.
❦ Allow your attention to be imbued with both care and curiosity (seeing yourself clearly, meeting yourself calmly and holding yourself kindly).
b) Allowing your practice to serve you
❦ Inquire into how your practice could best serve you in this moment. You might ask “dear body, dear mind, dear heart, what are you needing today?” (simply being willing to listen is an act of compassion).
❦ Explore your practice as something you can shape around your needs (rather than moulding yourself into how you think you should be). The nature of our practice will naturally change, as we do in life. Perhaps today you need more movement, or more rest. Maybe you would benefit from nudging outside of your comfort zone, or if life is wobbly you might be better served by tapping into sources steadiness.
c) Exploring Qualities of Mindful Awareness
❦ Explore bringing attitudes of mindfulness into your practice (meeting yourself with a beginners’ mind, softening judgements, lessening striving, cultivating equanimity, acceptance, patience and kindness).
❦ Sense your practice as offering space for ‘being’ with your experience, time to tend to and nourish yourself, rather than it feeling like another thing you are ‘doing’.
d) Cultivating Self-care and Self compassion
❦ Caring self-touch can be a wonderful way to bring kindness to ourselves. Take a moment to place one or both hands over your chest, or gently stroking your hand or head, allowing yourself to feel and receive qualities of warmth and tenderness.
❦ Cultivating a more compassionate inner narrative can help to soothe our common companion the ‘inner critic’ (you know that inner voice that tells us we’re doing it wrong or aren’t good enough). Imagine talking to yourself in the way a dear friend would, using similar tones and terms.
❦ Restorative yoga can be a wonderful of giving yourself permission to lean into support. In the busyness of life, many of us rest less and are restless. Seeing rest as a deep act of kindness can help to reframe it. Take a moment to lean into the support of a bolster and cover with the softness of a blanket and offer yourself 20 minutes to feel held rather than needing to hold on.
As you may discover through your practice, becoming more intimate with ourselves is a courageous act, one that requires an open, tender, heart rather than a fierce, gripping, fist. With mindfulness and compassion at its centre, our yoga practice becomes a refuge, a place that holds us wherever we are, rather than another setting in which we feel we need to perform or prove our worth.
While our practice on the mat provides a trainings ground for our hearts and minds to be more open and present, the fruits of our practice play out in the quality of our actions and interactions in our everyday lives. It deepens our capacity to move through life with greater clarity, stability, peace, and sustainability. This benefits not just ourselves but the wider world and those we share it with.
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